So when I said this blog would become personal, here's an example of how. Beware, this'll be a long post.
When we broke up, my biggest fear was:
What am I going to do with my life? How do you be single?
We ended the lease on our apartment and I moved back home with my family. They gave me any love and support I needed. I spent almost two weeks with my amazing cousin who kept my mind off of boys. I started spending more and more time with my best friend, and finally saw her more than once every couple of months. I rekindled relationships and started spending time with some people who have turned into amazing friends over the year.
I started to realize that being single wasn't so bad.
But then I was shocked by a reaction I recently had. A couple weeks ago, I ran into someone who I hadn't seen in years. We started talking and she asked who I was seeing - not if I was seeing someone. I admit to having felt a little embarrassed that I wasn't in a relationship, or even dating anyone. Everyone she knows, and nearly everyone that I know, is.
It gave that evil part inside of me the chance to whisper:
It's because you're weird, ugly, not good enough.
But then I realized there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Being single is just as normal as being in a relationship, and means nothing more than you haven't found the right person yet. I feel like I am finally beginning to figure out who I am and who I want to be. That's the most important thing in life. I haven't felt stress like I used to - mostly because I'm only taking care of myself. I don't make decisions based on anyone else but me.
Being single isn't the pain I thought it would be. I've begun to love myself, appreciate the alone times, and think about me and what I truly want.
It's just another way of life. Something to be embraced, enjoyed and celebrated.
And I'm finally figuring out how to do it.